Seeking Oblivion
by Aussie-mel
Summary: After the events of Abyss Jack tries to forget. SLASH.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Stargate or any characters belong to the show. This is just for fun, do not sue.

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Jack was in desperate need of some relaxation, especially after what happened with Kanan the run-away Tok'ra. The Tok'ra were supposedly the good guys, but seriously, Jack started to wonder sometimes.

For a long time after the first mission to Abydos, Jack had been in love with Daniel, the terminal _straight _guy, which he'd stupidly found out after a night out and too much alcohol. Jack had been mortified in the morning when he remembered what had happened, and how he'd tried coming on to Daniel. Of course Daniel never said another word about what had happened. He was too nice for that. They just kept on going on like nothing had happened, which was good he supposed, if it hadn't been slowly killing him to know there was no chance of anything happening between them, Air Force regulations aside.

Eventually Jack had gotten over Daniel, and by the time he died, ascended, whatever. Jack had been able to completely move on.

There had been a time in his life when dying had meant forever, no coming back. If you died you tended to stay that way, no matter how hard someone prayed or wished otherwise. Now though, since he'd joined the Stargate project, death had become something temporary, if you had a handy sarcophagus around, or a healing device, death wasn't quite as permanent as you were always led to believe. Or if you're like Daniel, you could ascend and make like a ghost haunting your friends with your presence but never helping them when they need you the most.

When you're being tortured over and over until you are begging for death, not one you can wake from but the final death. Where there is no return from, hoping that the next time you wouldn't come back. It's not as if you _want _to die, you just want the pain to stop.

Jack felt betrayed by Daniel. He'd always preached the peaceful explorer routine, willing to put his life on the line to save a total stranger, and yet when Jack had asked him to help him, Daniel had told him he couldn't. It was against the rules, the others would find out, and he would be punished. Jack had understood that to some degree, but if Daniel had been his true friend he would have done it, consequences be damned.

Jack would have done it for him, no matter what the consequence to himself were. It just wasn't in him to sit by and watch people he cared about being hurt, not if he could do something about it.

Jack had begged Daniel to let him die, to make his next death a permanent one, so that Ba'al would stop torturing him. He knew nothing, not why he'd gone to that god forsaken planet, nor why he'd tried making off with Ba'als Lotah. All he knew for certain was that one day he'd been with the Tok'ra the next day he was in the hands' of Ba'al trying to survive just one more minute of torture, hoping that if he held on just a little bit longer his salvation would come and he would be saved.

It wasn't as if the Goa'uld were terribly inventive when it came to torture techniques, Ba'al had only used knives and acid. Oh sure he'd had that fancy human magnet thing he was stuck to, but on a scale of 1-10 in creativity Jack would have to give him a one. Ba'al was a pretty boring guy and really, when you thought about it, Jack had been through much worse. It didn't mean he had to like it though.

Jack had just about given up any hope of rescue when Daniel appeared to him the first time. He thought he was there to help him but Daniel was all talk, something about enlightenment. Jack didn't want enlightenment, he wanted to escape and failing that he wanted peace. Daniel couldn't do that though, spouting off about not being able to interfere.

Jack couldn't see that, to him it was just more excuses. They had been best friends, wasn't that at least worth something? Obviously not or he wouldn't have been stuck in that gravity reversed prison a moment longer than necessary. What was the use of having a friend who was an all-powerful being if he couldn't occasionally call in a favour or two?

Jack didn't know if he could ever forgive Daniel for what he'd done to him, and he was well known for holding grudges, just ask Frank Cromwell. He still hadn't forgiven the man for leaving him behind in Iraq. This wasn't exactly the same thing but it was a close second.

Jack had held out hope that Carter, Teal'c and Jonas would find him before it was too late, that they would save him. It hadn't been much but it had given him something to hold onto, even as slim a chance as it had been. Then Daniel had come, telling him that no one would come for him, that they didn't know where he was. Effectively killing what little hope he'd had.

Jack could have Killed Daniel for that, if it weren't for the fact that Daniel was already dead.

For someone who was supposed to be a fairly sensitive guy (according to half the female population of the SGC) Daniel could be damned insensitive at times.

Ba'al had been after information on why Jack had tried to kidnap his Lotah, and for the life of him Jack couldn't figure out why he'd come here, why Kanan had come here. Then the damn Tok'ra had jumped ship and abandoned him there, leaving him none the wiser about _why_ he'd gone there. It had pushed Jack's already low opinion of the Tok'ra down even further. Jack would be happy if he never saw another snake again.

His rescue came in the form of an unlikely ally. Lord Yu, his attack causing a slack in security which allowed him to escape. Running away from his prison and taking the Lotah with him he made his escape. Proving Daniel wrong, showing him there was always a way out if you looked hard enough, if you didn't give up hope in your friends.

Jack knew he'd never fully forgive Daniel for his betrayal.

When he'd woken up in the infirmary, he'd seen Daniel again and he wished he hadn't. He wasn't up to facing the other man yet, so he agreed with what he said hoping he'd leave him the hell alone and let him get on with his life. After a few minutes Daniel left him in peace, claiming he had things to do, but at the moment Jack wasn't sure if he could trust anything the other man told him.

After being confined to the infirmary for a week while he got over the sarcophagus addiction Jack had been forced to think, something he usually tried avoiding especially after a particularly hard mission. He didn't want to think about what happened with Ba'al, he just wanted to forget it ever happened and get on with his life.

He'd only been let out of the infirmary two days ago and he was already desperate for company. Jack had always been a fairly solitary man, being able to keep himself company for weeks on end, but now he was having problems with the lack of people. Intellectually he knew it was because of the torture sessions Ba'al had put him through, and his want of company was a result of that. He was subconsciously hoping to keep his demons away by filling his time with anything and everything he could think of.

Ever since being released, he'd kept busy doing chores, cleaning, paying his bills and so forth. He knew he'd been ordered to rest but knew if he did that his demons would come and it wasn't something he wanted now, or ever. He was Special Forces trained, to withstand various forms of torture and mind control techniques, but no matter how much training he'd received it always caught up with him when he got back from whatever mission he'd been on. The only way he'd been able to stay sane all these years was to bury the experiences, deep within himself, so deep that even he could not remember the exact details of what had happened, and that was ok, it worked and he eventually forgot.

Jack was sick of lying around following the Doc's orders. Not that he ever really paid much attention to what the Doc said, so he walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed his car keys and jacket before heading for the door. He had to get out of the house; he couldn't stand being cooped up a moment longer. It wasn't late, only 9pm, but it felt much later to Jack, who was still recovering; not that he'd admit that to anyone, not even on pain of torture.

Quickly heading out, Jack drove aimlessly for a while before stopping at a small club. Nothing too fancy, just a small bar where he could drown his sorrows in the bottom of a glass of fine scotch. He usually avoided these places but at the moment he just wanted to disappear, never to be found again. He knew he couldn't do that though, he had duties to attend to, he had to go on fighting the good fight, and it just wasn't in him to give up when so many lives could be lost as a result.

"Scotch, Please" Jack said taking a seat at the far end of the bar away from prying eyes and ears. He wanted to get away, even if only for a few hours.

The hours quickly passed and Jack found himself relaxing into the semi-quiet atmosphere of the small bar. He realized he was getting slightly tipsy, with the amount of alcohol he'd consumed, giving him a pleasant buzz.

Feeling a presence approach him from behind Jack tensed and turned slightly to see who the person was. As he turned, Jack looked into the most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen. The man was about the same build as him with long black hair that came to just below his shoulders. He had it pulled back into a loose ponytail, revealing his handsome features. He had high cheekbones and full pouty lips that were just begging to be kissed.

"Hi, I'm Liam Nickelson. Anyone sitting there" He asked Jack gesturing toward the chair beside him.

"Ah, No you can sit there. I'm Jack O'Neill" He said shaking Liam's hand. Jack watched as the other man sat in the seat beside him. Jack could hardly keep his eyes off the other man, he was virtually undressing Liam with his eyes, and the other man didn't seem to mind at all.

Liam smiled a beautiful smile as he ordered a bourbon and coke; the two men sat in companionable silence as they sipped at their drinks. As the night wore on, both men got to know each other better, swapping stories and such until early in the morning. The more they got to know one another the more they felt the attraction. Liam was a very beautiful man who had a heart of gold. Or that's what Jack thought as he looked over at the man seated beside him.

Also Jack realized he'd been sitting there talking to Liam for nearly three hours and he hadn't once thought about what he had gone through at Ba'als hands. Liam was helping him forget, helping him lose himself in the here and now, and for that Jack was eternally grateful.

"Do you want to come back to my place? Grab a coffee maybe?" Jack asked as he downed the last of his drink. Silently getting to his feet Jack turned, placing his hand on Liam's shoulder in invitation. Jack really hoped the other man would take him up on his offer, and while he rarely indulged in such things like one night stands, he realized this was something that he needed to do, he needed to forget, if only for an hour or two, and Liam could help him do that.

"Sure, just let me grab my coat. I'll be right back"

"Okay, I'll meet you out front" Jack said, gently stroking down Liam's arm as he walked outside to wait. While he'd knocked back quite a few drinks, he was still sober enough to drive, he hoped.

It took about ten minutes for Liam to make his way back outside the bar. "Come on, my truck's over this way" Jack told him placing his hand on the small of his back leading him toward his truck.

As soon as they were through the front door Jack grabbed Liam by the shoulders and leaned forward, capturing his mouth in a bruising kiss.

Liam pulled back gulping in a big mouthful of air before leaning back in claiming Jack's mouth in another kiss, biting and licking around his mouth, pulling a moan from Jack.

Jack pushed his tongue out, licking along Liam's bottom lip seeking entrance to the moist, hot cavern. Jack deepened the kiss, running his hands all over the broad chest in front of him. Jack slipped his hand beneath the shirt Liam was wearing lightly stroking the skin revealed beneath.

Pulling back, Liam looked deeply into Jack's eyes, seeing the lust and desire written all over Jack's face.

"Bed" Jack managed to gasp out between heat filled kisses.

Not wanting to break contact with the other man, Jack grabbed hold of Liam's shirt, pulling him away from the door and dragging him back towards his bedroom, both shedding layers of clothing as they went. By the time they reached the bedroom both men were naked and clearly aroused.

Jack pushed Liam back gently until his legs hit the edge of the bed, causing Liam to fall back on the bed dragging Jack down with him. Both men groaned as their cocks touched, causing desire to shoot through them. Moving to the center of the bed Jack ground his hips into Liam's causing both men to moan on contact.

Leaning forward Jack brushed light kisses all over Liam's face and neck, finding as many sensitive spots as possible; trying his hardest to make Liam go wild with need. Reaching back Jack released Liam's hair from the band tying it back causing the hair to fall freely around Liam's shoulders.

Liam flipped Jack onto his back, and started flowering kisses all over Jacks body until the other man was gasping and moaning with need.

"Lube?" Liam asked nuzzling at Jacks neck hungrily, slowly driving Jack crazy with lust.

"Bedside table" Jack gasped out as he stroked up and down Liam's back.

Leaning over Jack Liam pulled out the nearly full tube of lube and a condom. Liam slowly tore open the packaging, pulling out the condom and slipping it on his cock, squeezing the base hard to prevent himself from coming.

"Fuck me already!" Jack ground out as he felt a finger slip back behind his balls to his entrance; gently probing the sensitive skin there, making Jack moan continuously with arousal.

Liam gasped slightly, blowing warm air onto Jack's now sensitive skin. Liam slipped his finger inside, gently probing until he found the hidden nub, gently stroking the sensitive gland causing Jack to cry out with pleasure.

When he was sure Jack was relaxed Liam added a second finger, gently stretching him enough to take his length, sighing softly Liam Inserted another finger into Jack stretching him fully.

Leaning down over Jack's groin Liam engulfed the tip of his cock in his mouth, gently sucking and licking at the tip as he continued preparing Jack for penetration.

Pulling Back Liam blew across Jacks moist tip causing the other man to shout out with barely suppressed need. Grinning Liam bent back down fully engulfing Jack's erect cock, deep-throating the other man causing his hips to buck up into the waiting mouth.

Placing a steadying hand on Jack's hip Liam continued his ministrations, continuing to stretch the other man, Liam pulled back off Jack's cock before the sensations became too much for the usually reserved Colonel.

Jack was in heaven; he didn't think he'd ever experienced such exquisite torture, this time however it was of the pleasurable kind. All of Jack's previous lovers had never really satisfied him the way Liam now was, Jack thought that perhaps it was because he was fully letting go and allowing himself to really _feel_ that was making all the difference, whatever it was Jack hoped that it would never stop.

Once he'd been fully stretched, Liam coated Jack's entrance and his cock with lube before gently pushing inside, causing Jack to moan in pleasure.

"God, Liam, so good" Jack grunted out, as he reached down between them to grasp his weeping cock, pumping in time with Liam's thrusts. Only to have Liam bat his hand away, grasping Jack's cock himself causing Jack to thrust into Liam's fist before thrusting back down, impaling himself on the cock nested tightly in his ass.

Liam increased his pace, thrusting faster, driving them both further toward completion. Liam's movements caused them both to grunt out in pleasure, as the sensations coursed through them, pushing them closer to the edge.

Liam angled his thrusts to hit Jack's prostate with each inward push, causing Jack to wither and moan in ecstasy with each plunge. Jack leaned upward, dragging Liam down into a heat filled kiss.

"Oh… God Jack! You're so good. So tight" Liam gasped out between every movement of his hips.

"God Liam, Don't stop" Jack gasped out as Liam bruched his prostate again.

Jack was loving every minute of this, with each inward push of Liam's cock into his ass, Jack felt as if a piece of him was healing. Showing him that some people actually cared about other people and how they felt.

Once upon a time he's believed Daniel had cared, but his actions recently had caused Jack to think otherwise.

Jack was lonely he was craving the company of a lover, and while he knew tonight was just temporary it was helping him re-instate his trust in people.

Jack suddenly stilled, spilling his seed between them, causing his muscles to clamp down hard on the cock imbedded deeply within him, causing Liam to come hard shooting deeply within Jack.

Exhausted, Liam collapsed bonelessly on top of Jack, turning his head slightly searching and finding Jack's mouth to pull him into a passionate kiss. Before slipping out of Jack's body to lie down beside him. Liam quickly tied off the condom and threw it in the bin beside the bed before cleaning them up with a discarded shirt. Once he'd done that he pulled Jack back down beside him, using his shoulder as a pillow.

Enclosing Jack in his embrace Liam slipped into sleep.

Jack sighed softly while lightly tracing patterns on Liam's chest with his free hand. Jack knew he was far from being healed but tonight had gone a long way to helping restore him.

Liam had given him the release he'd needed to really let go and allow himself to forget, and start healing. Letting go like he had tonight had allowed him the freedom that he couldn't have while with Ba'al, not the sex exactly, but the emotional release that the sex had given him. It had lifted a huge weight of his shoulders allowing Jack to relax and start to truly heal.

Jack smiled softly to himself before drifting off to sleep.

Maybe he wasn't fully healed but at least he had begun the process.

END


End file.
